my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
