The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
