so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
