My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
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