she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
