Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
