I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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