At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
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Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
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It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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