is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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