i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
