dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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