she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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