He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You can't just leave with hair like that
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
