Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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