I feel like I'm in dance class right now
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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