just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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