The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
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If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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