mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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