I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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