I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
