Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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