Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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