That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
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