I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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