how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
