No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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