Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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