...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
