Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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