FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize