I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
