She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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