their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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