Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
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