she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
