also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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