i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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