You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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