I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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