I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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