So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
