Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
