he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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