Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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