i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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