Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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