Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
