so let's talk penis.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
