That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
