Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I believe in your delicious
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
