I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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