do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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