Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize