Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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