Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
