I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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