I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
