I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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