i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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