I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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