the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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