There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
