Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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