I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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